Finding New Love

Generally, adults tell us teenagers that we're "too young to be in love", we "don't know what love is..."
Well...I do know that love is. I've been in love before, it's probably one of the most amazing feelings ever.
But I do miss being in love. I so badly want to be in love again, to mean something to someone and them mean a lot of something to me, to be able to say "I love you" to that special person, to care for someone - for them to care for me. To be able to show affection towards someone without feeling like a...yeah (I'm not sure what word would be best), because when you love someone, you know that you have no shame in showing affection to them.

The words are so easy to say.
Don't get me wrong, I would definitely say it to someone, but I want to wait longer and make sure it comes from the deepest part of my heart, and have the full meaning behind it.
Because it just seems like saying "I love you" would make everything better.

I know that "I love you" could be a variety of different meanings...And I'm hoping everyone here knows I'm talking about the romantic-like, because I have no problem saying "I love you" to my best friends, because I love my friends...Just only as friends and not in a crazy romantic way.
But like I said earlier...I so badly want to be in love again, to be that happy (although, I am very happy now), to say "I love you" to someone and not have it all be an awkward thing, to show someone that I love them.

Why do the words have to be so easy to say in my mind, but out loud they would seem so out of place?
I know it's possible to someday...sooner or later...say that I love this person, very much. Just not now...My only question is...Why?!...BLAH...

>>Goodnight world<<

Regret

Yeah, I could basically make a long list of things I regret from over the past year.
Regret is probably one, out of the many, worst feelings ever.
The best thing to do when you regret something is to stay as far away from the memories/feeling as possible...Especially if you're an easily hurt person.
But mainly in this case, that's easier said than done.

I do have to admit, I gave up a lot.
But I also have to admit that I gave in a lot and gave certain people second chances they never should've deserved.
I trusted people I never should've trusted.
I got involved with people I never should've gotten involved with.
And come to think of it, I always get hurt the most in the end.
On the bright side - I got what I wanted, I'm happy, I've gained back a lot of positive things in life and lost almost all the negatives.

The only thing I hope is for the same words to not get said, unless they have 100% meaning behind them.

Another Doomsday FAIL!

As promised, I came back to write a new post about surviving this day.

It was funny, because earlier today I was driving to my friend's house and nearly every car I passed was going to opposite way I was and I actually saw people packing up their cars...Failure at it's best.

So anyhow...The next "Doomsday" is...of course, 2012.
Will it happen? Maybe, maybe not.
I'm supposed to graduate next year...Sooo, I'm going to call B.S. on it happening.
Well, not much more for this post.
All this irony is quite entertaining. (Yeah, that sentence may not make sense...but it makes me feel better)
:)

BUT...the biggest thing I saw today that could've made anyone concerned was this:

Yep...A big angry RAIN CLOUD!

Yeah...It's funny now, because it's been raining all day and now it's sunny!! WOOHOO! Gotta love this day ♥

5.21.11

Judgement Day...?
Doomsday...?
Apocalypse...?
End Of The World...?
Rapture...?

Well, I'll try my best not to offend anyone who may believe that this is going to happen.
Personally...I don't believe it.
If it does, oh boy, am I screwed...Guess I'm going to be left behind and watch the world fall apart in self-destruction mode.
If it seriously is going to happen, wouldn't everyone be packing things up, running around, cancelling plans, etc?

Apparently the world is going to be destroyed by multiple earthquakes and disasters on Saturday May 21st, 2011 @ 6:00 pm (worldwide).

How was this calculated...?
Harold Camping, a preacher who heads Family Radio - a worldwide religious broadcasting concern - predicted over a bunch of silly numbers that Saturday (tomorrow) will be the day that we all either live in eternity...or die in the destruction of the world.
More info here

If, by the slight chance this will all happen, it is the PERFECT excuse for nearly every teenager across the world to throw a friggin' party and completely destroy themselves...and maybe for adults as well - heck, I could always just skip school Monday and have people say I have been "saved" and that's why I shall never return to school again, haha. Not gonna waste time doing that.
And if, by the greatest chance it doesn't happen, we're basically giving a bunch of money to churches - supposedly "buying" a ticket to heaven...or just giving money in order to save the world. (in link above)

I don't want to say too much, but this sounds like the greatest scam for businesses to get money, people to throw outrageous parties, and for some people to have an excuse to finally "pack-up" and "leave".

In my opinion - as I have already said, I do not believe this will happen. I have a future planned, there's places I'm going to go to, there's many people I'm going to meet, and I have a life to live.
Another reason...wouldn't schools, businesses, and other majoy groups be cancelling everything...?

*Sigh*
*Thinks*
..............
*Smacks face in disbelief*

I don't think I have anything else to say.
It's one of those topics that you could go on and on talking about, and I am not going to do that.
Soooooo....I guess I have a little over 24 hours to live.
If I make it through the next 24 hours, I'll post up about how friggin' ignorant and insane this whole...thing...is!
...And if I don't live...Well, the internet always survives. So my blog will always be here. haha.

School Sleep-Over

...NEVER do it.
No matter how "awesome" it may sound...If it's raining...and windy...and cold...Just save your soul and don't go...Especially if it's an outside event.

Basically, there was an event called "Sleep Less For M.S."...I think that's what it was called.
And groups got together and put up tents in the high school football field and walked around the track...all night - sorta like a Relay For Life or March of Dimes event, but with high school.
I'm sure that it was optional to sleep, if of course, people were too tired.
Music was playing all night...the annoying rap crap.
But It was fun to just spend time with my friends and also have time with my boyfriend.

Back to my main point, and to make everything short...
If you would like your shoes stolen, have to listen to rap crap all night and listen to people being annoying, but being able to spend time with your close friends, and also being up all night and packing things up at the crack of dawn...DO IT!

I'm not sure if any of this post makes sense, considering I'm half asleep while typing this and my brain is practically moosh. But if it makes sense...then yeah....

Happy Birthday [to me]

I must've gotten nearly 30 (or more by now) "happy birthday"'s on Facebook.
I've heard that 17 is one of the greatest years, I didn't think I would believe it until today, and I'll make sure to make it one amazing year before I enter adulthood.

♫Happy Birthday♫ was sang to me 4 times today.
1- In choir.
2- In choir again, but as a polka!
3- At lunch.
4- In one of my other classes.

I wished for one thing when I blew out my imaginary birthday candle-My wonderful friends and boyfriend got me a cake at lunch-And I'm hoping that wish comes true :)
Don't ask what the wish is...Well, maybe only one person may ask...But I'm not sure if it'll come true. If it does, my birthday is complete :)

Well...Have a good May 9th (or even birthday) to the rest of you.
My life could not get any better than this.
♥

Garrett Kessner

WOOHOO! Garrett. This post is meant just for you lol.

I could tell you everything now, and have you read it later...
OR....I could just tell you things in person.
Maybe a little bit of both??
BWAHAHAHAHA, you never know :P

I guess I'll start with the fact that you have a hold of my heart ♥

As you already know, you make me REALLY (x's infinity) happy.
One thing I truly wish is for us to talk more and hang out more, but that's for surely happening soon.

I've told you millions of times how attractive you are :)
You're definitely someone I'd want a lasting relationship with, but that's your say.
One major question I do have is, what happens when you graduate? Is this all going to end and am I going to be forgotten?

I'm just taking one day at a time to see how things turn out.

It takes a lot of courage for me to say things like this, but I mean it :)

Well...to end this post on a positive note-you're awesome :)
Oh. And I have granted you with the nickname: Butterfly :D
Lol, and I'm hoping you know how you got that one.

L.O.V.E

[Warning to reader: If this starts to sound too mooshy...whatever lol. Then stop reading.]

I may seem like a hopeless-romantic but, what is love?
Does it mean having strong feelings for someone and just can't avoid that?
Or does it mean needing to have someone in your life...All the time?

What I have to say is, I'm not in love-atleast I don't think I am.
I have extremely strong feelings for someone and he gives me butterflies and makes me smile and is just insanely attractive.
But I know for a fact that I couldn't tell him I love him.
Maybe as time goes by...Of course, depending on if we're still together or not.

I do know that when I was "in love", in a recently past relationship, I didn't get butterflies or constantly smiling when he was around.

So my question still stands.
What is love?

How do you know you're in love?
What if the time you're in love, is the time that you couldn't say it to that person?

I'm not in denial or anything.
It just wouldn't seem right to tell him at the moment.
Of course, only time could tell.
So obviously not now.

I do know that whatever this feeling is...It's great.
It makes me happy and there's usually never a moment where a smile doesn't leave my face.